Beauty 101: That’s My F*cking Problem

Why yes, I do like to reference A$AP Rocky in my day to day activities, and look, this here is a perfect example. I’ve put together a little list of beauty pet peeves and how to solve them without shaving your eyebrows off, pulling out your hair (or weave), and throwing everything in the trash all the while claiming you’d always thought you could make a burka work for you. Fret not. I am here to assist.

Oh and, you’re welcome. xo

You Look Disheveled 


Sometimes letting product sit on your brushes for too long can create crappy bristles which can cause permanent damage parallel to the kind of permanent damage you get from reading about Justin Bieber’s drug riddled dalliances. Ain’t nobody want that. Wash them at least once a month with dish detergent which helps break up the oils and pigments that have built up. Lying them flat on a paper towel is the best way to dry in opposition to drying them upright which causes water to seep through and rot the brush. Ain’t nobody want that either.

Caked Up


Stacks are nice when it comes to clothes and money, not under your eyes. Don’t pile on a heavy cream concealer. Liquid formulas are best because they absorb easier under the eye area and don’t cake. An opaque fluid with a peachy base is a good go-to because it helps counteract blueish grey circles. A light dusting of fine silky light reflecting powder on top creates a flawless finish.

What’s on your mouth?


In order to prevent awkward questions like these follow these guidelines: When lips are dry and flaky, lip gloss or balm particles commonly get stuck in creases therefore creating a white filmy gunky coating. You never want to have to explain away a white filmy coating so exfoliate those lips before any sort of product application. A warm cloth, a lip sugar or scrub or a swipe of a cotton swap will ensure you don’t get stuck in a sticky situation. Literally.

Hair-y Situation


For hair that seems to sprout up a hot minute after shaving, using a light lotion with a loofah in order to exfoliate and scrub away tiny hairs under the skin’s surface should prevent pesky hairs. Something with urea or glycerin helps soften them and lay them flat so it’s easier to shave too. This one by Eucerin (I love their product line) is amazing.

Raccoon Eyelids


This is a huge beauty pet peeve for me. Most common occurance is when I’m half asleep attempting to put on mascara, or when I let out a sneeze post application. The reason behind this annoying mishap is that mascara can break down when it comes into contact with the oils on your skin. If you don’t plan on wearing shadow, try creating a nice matte base on your lids with a primer like this NARS one. Top it off with a sweep of translucent powder which absorbs oils like nobody’s business. The combo will prevent mascara from sticking to places you don’t want it to. As for the raccoon eyes you create yourself, I have no time to assist with that.

To Be Discontinued…


I find myself savoring things all the time, whether they’re exclusive one time only beauty products, delicious little treats, or things like gel pens, face cream, or even clothing. I fully understand that this is some type of undiscovered disease that only I live with, but I needed to state it in order to drive my point home. The point being, that it is disappointing and depressing when a certain favorite beauty product gets discontinued. Three Custom Color. This heroic force will take what’s left of your coddled product and match the shade to a product in their archives (9000 colors strong to be exact) If the product was discontinued within the last 36 months the company will try and search for ones that are in their inventory for you to purchase. You’re most welcome.

Take It Off, Take It Off!


Put it back on, I’m talking about something completely different. Switching to an oil based cleanser or make up remover is key for when your cleanser isn’t up to par. This Bobbi Brown one breaks up product better than soap. I swear by Philosophy’s Purity cleanser, which comes in two different forms, both amazing. If you want to stick to the cleanser you have, go ahead and add a cotton ball or pad soaked in toner to take off any excess.

Baby, Don’t Go. On Second Thought…Leave


Ugh, another one beauty pet peeve of mine has to do with those annoying airy little baby hairs near the forehead and hair line. I’m one of those people who can’t stand anything things touching my face so this fix-it is one for the books. Using a clean toothbrush (I’m sad that I even had to say that the toothbrush has to be clean), and some hairspray, run it along your hairline to tame flyaway strands. Another option is clear mascara, Maybelline’s Great Lash mascara in Clear is perfect. Honestly, this works and it’s prevented much distress for me. There were times I took scissors to my hair and no one should ever want to take scissors to the hair in angst.

Where Has That Been?


No one’s calling you a dirty dirtbag but when your makeup bottles and products start to look grimy and you start to question your cleanliness, it leads you to question your life choices, and then your future goals, and then your future in general, and really, nothing good can come of that. I’m here to ensure this doesn’t happen. So are antibacterial wipes. Using these bad boys will prevent the residue and bacteria from getting transferred to your face so keep these on hand to wipe up your containers, products and surfaces. They’re awesome because they’re heavy duty cleansers so you don’t feel like you’re engaging in chores. Nobody should ever have to do chores.

I F*cked Up


Common mistake, ain’t no shame in this game. Fixing a smudged nail job is easy if you follow this process: Dab the pad of your index finger (yes, it’s this precise) in non-acetone remover and ensure none gets on your nail! Lightly swipe it over the dent or smudge on the nail to smooth it out. Cover it up with a light layer or polish and finish up with a quick dry top coat. Much easier than removing the whole thing and re-doing. Klutz – friendly.

What’s That Smell?


I’ve often thought that generic hairspray tends to smell like alcohol. No, I haven’t drank it, contrary to your thoughts, but I’ve searched long and hard for one that isn’t reeking of alcohol or fruity fragrance. Ones with a pump smell less than aerosol sprays (but are stickier I’ve found). I love the scent of the Aveda Air Control Hairspray – it’s one of the best smelling ones out there. Prove me wrong.

Nail Peel


Filing nails with a gritty file or buffer can smooth out ridges but still cause tears. Instead opt for a glass file which is smoother and easier on the nails. They’re cuter and don’t cause damage.

If you have any tips or fix-its do let me know. The lazy sloth in me loves a quick fix.


Friday Favorites: Weekend Edition

Here are my favs of the week. 



Favorite Outfit

I love oversized faux vests with denim and siren heels. It’s the perfect balance of trendy, chic and sexy. 


Favorite Beauty Product

My girlfriend recently gave me a sample of her Ocean Salt face & body scrub to try. I am in love. I’m going to pick myself up a nice hefty amount tomorrow. It feels so fresh on your skin and it smells like margarita. How can I hate? It’s perfect for really dry winter skin and it’s made from vodka, limes, grapefruit, avocoado and sea salt. Amazing.


Favorite Wish List Item

I am still obsessed with these Stuart Weitzman Highland over the knee boot. At $750 they’re a little pricey but I explain it away by adamantly stating that I will wear them all day, every day. They come in black as well, and they’re sold out all around town but they will be mine soon enough. 


Favorite Scent

Bobbi Brown’s Beach is the epitome of summer scents. It’s soft and fresh and reminds me of suntan oil, waves and sand between my toes. In the dead of Winter, I can only spritz myself and dream. But it’s pretty legit so it works for me.


Favorite Photo

I’ve been watching Clueless for the last week during my workouts. It’s fair to say that I have almost every single line memorized to an unhealthy and obsessive degree. Cher is E-very-thing.


Favorite Recipe

I am huge on gluten free items (not because it’s the current trend) but because I don’t feel gross and bloated after eating, and it’s really helped my acid issues. Sandwiches are pretty much my favorite food, after Mexican, so I like switching up the ingredients from time to time to keep it from getting boring. I use Udi’s gluten free bread, lots of veggies, and mustard or olive oil for dressing. I skip the cheese and opt for hummus instead, for the health factor, and the fact that I’m not too keen on cheeseiness. Arugula, beets, kale and goat cheese are nice little accessories I throw on when I’m feeling fancy. Add a glass of red wine (if you must) and you’re a professional. I like to think.


Favorite Trend

Caged heels are so hot right now. I own a couple pairs in black and beige but these Sophia Webster ones are making me drool. 


Purchased: Too Faced “The Chocolate Bar” Eye Palette

This is too legit. Eyeshadow that smells like chocolate. I mean, the only negative I can state here is that it might ignite cravings but that is it. My sister recently came home with it and obviously I had to have one too. Too Faced’s packaging is mind-boggling. I love each and every product, and yes, the packaging is one of the reasons why. If you’re going to shell out then you want to get the most out of your buck. The pretty pinks and browns, the gold gilded compacts and bronzers, and their girly yet elegant fonts and patters are fit for royalty.


This bad boy right here is the Chocolate Bar Eye Palette. I picked it up from Sephora earlier today ($55USD) and came home feeling like Charlie from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Honestly, I wish I did un-boxing videos because this palette deserves it. It contains 16 (16!) matte and shimmer shadows scented with REAL chocolate. The shades are chocolate inspired, range from neutrals, to highlighters, to shimmery eye poppers. They’re formulated with cocoa powder. I am not sh*tting you. Extreme honesty when it comes to chocolate.


The tin is shaped like an actual chocolate bar – so amazing. The co-founder and creative director Jerrod Blandino came up with this heavenly idea after indulging in a chocolate facial in Maui. The healing ingredients of chocolate, such as properties that soothe skin, protect and condition, and the smooth and velvety shadows are packaged into this to-die-for palette.  Oh, and the scent of cocoa powder is known to enhance memory and brain power. Beauty and brains my friends. Beauty and brains. I can’t wait to try these on. I’m in awe. My only problem is ensuring that I don’t taste test one of these. The shame that comes with that lasts a lifetime.


Was It Worth It: Bobbi Brown Sequin Shimmer Brick

I haven’t done a review for a while and I’ve been slacking on posting my recent beauty purchases so here’s a double whammy for you.

Much to my joy and greediness, my sister gifted me with the Bobbi Brown Sequin Shimmer Brick this past Christmas. Um, amazing. Naked 3 who?? Urban Decay who?? Yeah. THAT amazing.


I like this palette because the shimmer isn’t overwhelming like many others. It’s just the right amount of matte and shimmer so that you have a choice. I find that a little bit goes a long way with these shades – which is nice because it is a little pricier. In addition to the longevity of the color and the amount of shades the pigmentation is another reason I recommend this. Huge deal. I can’t stand shadows that disappear as soon as you put them onto the brush. Ain’t nobody got time for that amount of layering and applying. These shades are highly pigmented, stay on and don’t crease.


One common opinion on the Naked 3 palette is that the colors look too similar to one another when applied. I beg to differ BUT I will say that the darker your shade of skin, the better the Naked 3 will look. If you have a lighter complexion then you might want to pass it up, although, the colors are gorgeous. Maybe opt for this palette instead – the pigmentation is so pretty and so flattering on the skin. I’m not a huge fan of shimmer that looks grey-ish and washed out when it goes on and this is NOTHING like that. Flawless. Highly recommend this palette. You can get it at either Nordstrom or Sephora or a Bobbi Brown beauty counter. $48.50


Style: Looks of the Week

Award season. Thank You for providing us with endless fashion to fawn over.

Here are my picks…

Sandy Bullock in thigh high Lanvin. Goddess updo? Check. Metallic accessories? Check. Flawless beauty, inside and out? Yeah. Check.


Sofia Vergara as Jessica Rabbit. She is a siren. Her sparkly Donna Karan Atlier gown is over the top and dazzling. Just like her. Hyuck. Hyuck.


Lupita Nyong’O is breaking records all over the damn place. Her fashion choices need their own awards show. This custom turquoise Gucci gown is to die for. Wow.


Jamie Chung in a sheer and sleeveless BCBG Max Azria top and blush pencil skirt. The nude pumps and simple hairstyle are perfect with such an airy and angelic outfit.


All hail Kate Moss. This fine b*tch just turned 40. She is working that leopard print coat and LBD like the fierce supermodel she is. Bow down.


Amy Adams. Wow. Draped in Roland Mouret and Neil Lane. The hot pink and strawberry strand combo is mind blowing. Love how polished she looks.


Margot Robbie does menswear right by mixing in a little bit of femininity. The lace sleeves and tailored pants gives off a look of confidence yet is still soft and elegant.


Jessica Alba, one of my style muses. This is probably not my favorite look of hers but the white hot pumps and metallic floral Tory Burch skirt look amazing on her. I couldn’t help myself.


Hailee Stienfeld. The pearly white embellished Tory Burch A line frock, black tights and metallic pumps are straight up out of my fashion wishlist. Metallic is huge right now. Those shoes need to get on my feet.


Rashida Jones is mostly known for her comedic sense but her fashion choices rival those of socialites everywhere. The printed Tory Burch sweatshirt, lattice mini, and metallic lace up pumps are mind blowing. I love unexpected pairings. This is something I would put together, no doubt.


Jaime King in a ruffled Prabal Gurung midi gown. Embellished with Swarovski crystals. Paired with a flawless do and a red lip. The most perfect Casadei lace up ballet pumps I’ve ever seen. I can’t finish my sentences.


My Queen. Jennifer Lopez. There are no words to describe how ageless, flawless, and all over bad ass this woman is. I am not a fan of Beyonce’. I am a fan of Jennifer Lopez. She woke up like this. This Ermano Scervino cut out leather dress does not want to leave her body.



Scandal Queen Kerry Washington taking full advantage of her baby bump with a cropped, embellished custom made Prada top and full skirt. She does never-been-done very, very well.