Beauty 101: Ms. Fix It

My biggest pet peeve is painstakingly doing your makeup like a pro artist and then having it run, smudge, get stuck to your hair, or come off when you accidentally smack yourself with your own hand. Accidentally.

This little compilation of face saving tips might come in handy.

You’re welcome.

1. Quick Dry Polish


After you’ve applied your nail polish and it’s at that emotional stage where it’s prone to an accidental mishap – dunk your hands in cold water. Not the same as running them under the sink. I’ve tried. I’m lazy. This is old news. Instead fill up a bowl with cold water and submerge for a minute or so. Any subsequent misfortune is because you’re an asshole.

2. Messy Polish


Coat your cuticles with oil before applying polish. It avoids finger graffiti. And by cuticles, I mean around your nails. Not on them. The fact that I had to explain that though…

3. Steaming


Not that this will ever happen, because obviously, I don’t cook. Apparently holding your nails over steam for a few seconds (seconds not minutes!) will transform your mani into a matte finish. Whaaaat. Reminds me of the time I used to iron my hair. Literally.

4. Glitter Off


Not like you should ever be without a little bit of glitter but if you feel the need, instead of removing glitter polish the peasant way (with a cotton ball) – use a square of felt. Kind of works like a Brillo pad. Why am I picturing Solange?

5. Not what you mean by Streaking


A nice trick to keep your concealer, well, concealed, is to first dab your finger into an eye balm/cream. Take the same finger and swipe it over a solid concealer and then dab it on as usual. It makes it easier to blend and those unecessary streaks don’t show up in any fine lines.

6. Chilled


If your eye and/or lip pencils are too smudgy and soft, throw them in the fridge an hour before application. The harder they are the less you waste and the sharper line you have.

7. Swirl


Swirling your brush when applying blush gives it a more natural, airbrushed effect. If you’re a clown, please skip this tip.

8. Remove makeup with coconut oil


Really. That sh*t is good for everything. In this case, it breaks up the makeup for easier removal. I’d go ahead and add a bit to your regular makeup remover for the best effect.

9. Blushing Lips


Adding a bit of blush or eye shadow on top of your lipstick plausibly increases it’s wear and gives it a nice matte finish. If you’re a fan of matte, which I am a super fan. I mean, it should undoubtedly match your lip shade. Again, the fact that I had to explain that saddens me…

10. Beachy Waves


One of my fav hairstyles. One of the best way to create beachy waves, aside from a hair wand is to fashion yourself a little braid action before bed. To ensure it comes out with perfection, wash it beforehand, add a small amount of light mousse and then braid it. California girls everywhere will applaud you.

11. Throw in the Towel


Instead of using (and rubbing) your hair with a towel when drying, opt for one of your old, soft, worn in t shirts and pat your hair dry. Never rub. Prime grounds for breakage and frizzing. Unless you’re going for that look, then I say do you, you freakishly odd little individual, do. you.

12. De Puff


I feel like this little tid bit could be categorized as common sense, but hey, you never know. Upon waking the the AM, splash cold water on your face and eyes to freshen and de puff your eyes. If you’re doing this hungover, then you’re going to want to replace aforementioned routine with a slap in the face, some Advil, and a long hard look at your life.



6 thoughts on “Beauty 101: Ms. Fix It

  1. Oh, that EMOTIONAL stage of nail polish drying. Could you stop being so hilarious? I hate when people raise the bar.

    Steam? Say whaaaaaa?

    I’ve never done the blush on lipstick thing, but Kandee Johnson did a fab video called “Red Velvet Lips” where she makes a BOMB red, kinda ombre lip using a MUFE red blush. It’s gorge. Check it out.

    “You is funny, you is clever, you is creative.” Betch.

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