Style Profile: Baby It’s Cold Outside.

Unless you live in California (you lucky b*tch), it’s winter outside. This means sweaters, knits, cashmere, fauxs, and boots. Oh and skirts with opaque tights. Lots of skirts, and lots of opaque tights. I can’t stand when females use winter as an excuse to leave the house in Uggs and *shudder* sweatpants. This is the same as using the winter months as an excuse to eat “comfort food.” Explain to me how cheese clotted soups, white bread and 4000 calorie treats are comfortable? Are you used to dragging a dump truck sized ass around town? No. I reckon that can’t be all that comfortable. Shut it down.

Anyway, if you use winter as an excuse to layer up in clothes from 3 years ago, sweatpants, and mainstream “yoga” pants – you are doomed. You are so far gone that you possibly cannot even care what I have to preach about winter wear. You may now head to Lululemon and purchase another hoodie. Don’t let me disrupt your schedule.

For those who take advantage of the colder weather and layer their wardrobe with essentials like lightweight knits, skirts, oversized sweaters, and coats. You are welcome. Twas not a excessive effort on my part. Your options for winter wear are endless.

There’s so many different trends you can work during this time of year. Faux, embellished sweaters, tweed, Nordic, and leather are my favorites. Really anything goes as long as you throw on a pair of opaque tights. They’re like a stripper saying she needs implants because it helps her pull in more cash in order to pay for her education. Whether it’s from community college, beauty school, or USC – it doesn’t matter. It’s a legitimate claim. As it is with opaque tights.

Those babies will allow you to wear the most miniscule of skirts, the most shimmering halter, and most oversized sweaters that you want to wear without pants. You could be wearing assless chaps – as long as you have on opaque tights you are safe my lamb. Let the haters hate.

Below are my picks for winter essentials. Every wardrobe should have a sparkly knit, a festive sweater, faux, gloves and scarves that haven’t been thieved from the bin at a Salvation Army, and fashionable boots. No exclusions, although additions are graciously welcomed.

xoxo

By Malene Birger Claudia Mittens/$135/Shopbop.com

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Nightcap Clothing Aspen Sweater Pants/$198/Shopbop.com

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Milly Sparkle Sweater/$420/Revolveclothing.com

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J Brand Luxe Satin Skinny/$185/Revolveclothing.com

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Ugg Australia Double Knit Robe/$125/Nordstrom.com

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Free People Striped Cowl Sweater/$128/Shopbop.com

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Splendid Thermal Hooded Cardigan/$92/Shopbop.com

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J Crew Zigzag Strip Scarf/$88/jcrew.com

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J Crew Fair Isle Leggings/$118/jcrew.com

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J Crew Jeweled Llama Sweater/$108/jcrew.com

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Halogen Letterman Sweater/$68/Nordstrom.com

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Wildfox Snowflake Sweater/$285/Shopbop.com

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Topshop Knitted Marabou Sweater/$115/Topshop.com

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TopShop Knitted Crystal Reindeer Jumper/$80/Topshop.com

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Club Monaco Shea Faux Fur Topper/$198/Clubmonaco.com

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Club Monaco Adeline Sweater Jacket/$229/Clubmonaco.com

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Club Monaco Pigalle Angora Cardigan/$98/Clubmonaco.com

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Rails Plaid Shirt/138/Intermix.com

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Nation Ltd Exclusive Sweatpants/$75/Intermix.com

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Free People Shaggy Faux Sherpa Moto Jacket/$250/Revolveclothing.com

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For Love & Lemons Near Dark Dress/$180/Revolveclothing.com

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Koolaburra Snowjog in Sapphire/$295/Couturecandy.com

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Report Noma Bootie/$120/Couturecandy.com

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Humanoid Splinter Mid Calf Bootie/$505/Couturecandy.com

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Jeffrey Campbell Kitsap Boot/$220/Nastygal.com

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Topshop Scandi Beanie/$25/Nordstrom.com

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TopShop Affair Bootie/$135/Nordstrom.com

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Vince Slub V Neck Sweater/145/Shopbop.com

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T by Alexander Wang Foil Printed Lightweight Pullover/325/Shopbop.com

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Insight Mystic Bandana Sweater/$108/Nastygal.com

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Nasty Gal To The Max Cardi/$98/Nastygal.com

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Printed Mermaid Skirt/$60/Zara.com

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Lace Mini Skirt$60/Zara.com

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Sweater With Rhinestone Elbow Pataches/$70/Zara.com

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Wildfox Nantucket Sweater/$118/Wildfox.com

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Love Leather Lover Letter Letterman Jacketr/$325/Revolveclothing.com

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Rachel Pally Josefine Skirt/$198/Revolveclothing.com

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rag&bone The Legging with Zips/$250/Revolveclothing.com

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Kate Spade All that Glitters Paillettes Scarf/178/Shopbop.com

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Isabel Marant Nowles Shearling Lined Concealed Wedge Booties/$840/Netaporter.com

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Madewell Blanket Scarf/$65/Shopbop.com

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Plush Cat Texting Mittens/$50/Shopbop.com

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Juicy Couture Glamour Girl Texting Gloves/$58/Shopbop.com

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Eugenia Kim Mimi Pop Pom Skull Cap/$165/Shopbop.com

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