Sometimes I wish I didn’t quite care much about what foods I put in my body, or how long and often I worked out. I mean, I would probably have to be transported from place to place on a flatbed truck but at least I’d have a sh*t eating grin on my face. (Literally.)
While you’re dreaming of stuffing your face with iced cronuts, carb loaded pasta and sheet cakes, you can munch on these real life snacks that are satisfying and 1/3257802th of the fat and caloric intake of the foods you wish you were eating. I mean, you might be crabbier but at least you’ll be
skinny fit and healthy.
1. Hummus and Veggies
I love hummus. Especailly with pita chips and salsa, and margaritas. I’ve just outlined to you my cheat day. On any other day hummus is a nice little buddy for veggies, whole grain crackers, and as a side at dinner. It has tons of protein, Vitamin C, and iron. Pretty much boosts your energy, keeps you full for longer periods of time and tastes really good too.
Pretty much my favorite condiment on the planet. Actually, scratch that. I shan’t lower it’s stature by delegating it to condiment status. It is a food, and a reigning one at that. I mean, it’s low fat and healthy when you don’t pair it with tortilla chips and margaritas. And flour tacos. And nachos. And….you get the point. I add it to pretty much every meal. And yes I’m exaggerating, so halt the smart ass comments.
I’m about to debunk a mind blowing myth – stop eating just the egg whites. It’s okay to eat the whole thing. I repeat, stop being a hipster and only eating the shavings of egg white, sprinkled with hand picked and shucked pistachios, sprinkled with rose. You’re lying to yourself. You eat danishes while you’re Instagramming. Stop it. Half the protein in an egg is in the yolk, and it stimulates the release of glucagon which assists in fat loss and gets rid of stomach fat. That, and it keeps you fuller longer. You can’t go wrong, unless you eat 6 in one day.
4. Raw Almonds & Almond Butter
B2, protein, magnesium and Vitamin E. Also, when you’re stressed, the B2 in almonds cancels out the cortisol released from freaking out, therefore preventing weight gain. Well sh*t, if that doesn’t motivate you to grab a couple almonds then punch me in the nose and call me Cathy.
5. Chia Seeds
These little omega 3 fatty acid, calcium and iron filled little suckers are the bomnb. They’re great for weight loss because they absorb sugar like a sponge. They’re high in fibre and can hold up to twenty times their weight in water, so when they’re mixed with liquid they plump up and absorb excess moisture. I usually throw a tablespoon into my smoothies or put them in oatmeal. The texture is a little gelatinous but you get used to it.
Duh. Gluten free, fridge proof for about a week, perfect for eating plain, in salad, in wraps, on oatmeal, whatever. If you must leave this read with anything, leave with this – QUINOA IS THE SH*T. It’s like breakfast, you can have it any time of day. No one’s judging. Oh, and it has stress aleviating Vitamin B and animo acids. Eat it and you may freak out less. (This is not from experience).
7. Parmesan Cheese
I’m not a huge fan of cheese, but for those that can’t live without it then
you’re clearly doomed this type is the one to keep at hand. Keep a brick around and use a shredder to dress up whole grain crackers, rice cakes, or salads. Apparently it’s one of the most flavor filled cheeses so you only need a tablespoon or so. Any more and you might as well eat the whole brick and put on your fat pants.
8. Sprouted Grain Bread or Gluten Free bread
No, I’m not playing into the “ohhh I can’t eat gluten because it’s like, apparently like, bad for you and stuff” fad. I’ve found that cutting out 99% of wheat and gluten from my diet has resulted in a flatter stomach and less bloating and has assisted in digestion in a major way that I’d rather not publicly discuss. My pick is Udi’s bread. I store that sh*t everywhere. At work, in like, 3 different freezers at home, in the trunk of my car…everywhere. It comes in different varieties too. It’s obscenely priced in Canada so obviously mine comes from Trader Joes. $6. Small price to pay for a flat stomach I say. As for sprouted bread, the nutrient count is increased when the grains are sprouted which makes it easy to digest. You can find both types in the freezer section of your grocery store. Obviously you all shop at Whole Foods, Choices, or Trader Joes. Obviously.
9. Yogurt (Preferably Greek)
There’s nothing you can hate about Greek yogurt. It’s a top food with probiotics that assists in keeping your bloated stomach down, and in reducing fat in general. My pick is Liberte Greek Yogurt because it’s really nice and thick and comes in different flavors that aren’t loaded with sugar. Low in calories and fat too. Have one for breakfast with some wheat free toast and you’re good. Until someone brings in donuts. Then you’re f*cked. (Just keeping it real)
10. Healthy Snacks you can grab n go with.
Okay, a couple of Girl Guide cookies don’t fall under this category, neither do chocolate almonds. small packages of chips or Lunchables. If you don’t know that then you should be ashamed of yourself. And you are destined to be a fatty. (Kidding, you should only be ashamed).
What I’m referring to here is: Protein Bars (my FAV are NuGo Slim ones. They taste like sh*t at first but then you stop caring after the next bite because at least it keeps you full, it satisfies your cravings for something sweet, and it contains 15g of protein (that’s a huge deal), 7g of fibre, 190 calories and only 2 g of sugar. 2. That’s nothing. So, when you’re shopping around for granola bars (and I mean protein bars here, not ones made for 3 year olds – which, as good as they taste, parallel chocolate bars nutrition wise, choose ones like these.
Grape tomatoes and Babybel are a couple of other favorites of mine. As well as blueberries, strawberries, and various other cut up fruit. They’re slacker – friendly and satisfy cravings for salty diet killers. This cute little snack station is what I’m working on at the moment, I’m pretty lazy but I think taking 10 minutes to cut up veggies and throw them into little baggies is doable. Not saying it is, but I’ll make the attempt.