I’m publicly admitting that I am quite possibly one of the laziest people I have ever known. I get exhausted just thinking about having to get ready for outings of any kind, of getting out of bed to draw my shades, and dare I bend over to pick something up off the floor. No. Not I.
After reading that and assuming that I’m a sloth and a shame to hard working women folk all around town, I don’t blame you. BUT At least I can conjure up snacks. Moreso for sustenance than for flair of cooking, but nonetheless.
Here are some of my favorite lazy girl snacks. I clean up afterwards too. Impressive right?
Carrots, Cucumber and Celery with Hummus
Cut each veggie longways and try not to cut yourself. Or ruin your manicure. Dollop of hummus (Trader Joes Spicy hummus or plain with black pepper are two of my favs). You can add Tabasco or cayenne pepper if you want a little raise in metabolism, a brief sweat, or just a little extra kick.
Celery with PB and Raisins
(AKA bugs on a log to 3-30 yr olds everywhere) This too effing easy. I tend to stay away from peanut butter because I’d rather get my calories and fat intake from cupcakes, so I sub it with PB2 and mix it up with a bit of water – works just as well. Also, if you’re ashamed of your preschool snack and want to get all pretentious you may add walnuts, figs, dates, slivered almonds and whatever other fancy pants garnishes that make you feel like the sophisticated and cultured adult that you are.
Apples and PB
PB here refers to either peanut butter, PB2, or pumpkin butter (which I picked up last Fall from a farmer’s market and divulged in until Spring. Surprisingly it’s not loaded with sugar (aside from the natural stuff) and a little goes a long way…I think you can also find it at Trader Joes during the Fall season…
As for the apple part, I cut one up, begrudgingly, but I still somehow manage to do this and come out unscathed. If you like them peeled, that’s like, another 3 minutes of work I presume. I don’t have time for such nonsense.
Apples with Cheese & Grapes
Yes. Finally. Something with Cheese right? Sure, if I liked cheese. I don’t really have a taste for it so I opt out every time. Omelettes, sandwiches, huevos ranchers, quesadillas, tacos, grilled cheese, whatever. Again – I’m pretty serious about cupcakes.
Anyhow, Starbucks has this really great Protein Box for $6.95 that contains a couple slices of apple, a few wedges of mozza, some pepper, a whole grain breakfast crumpet and half a handful of red grapes. Yes. Really? Sit the hell down because I finally came to my senses and figured I could take that $6.95 and put it towards a pair of shoes. Or a non fat vanilla latte because there’s no way I have the skill to conjur up one of those flavorful delicacies.
Do yourself a favor and prepare this at home. Without the crumpet. It takes like 2.5 minutes. I’m deadly serious when I repeat – no more than 2.5 minutes.
Whole Grain crackers with cucumber, tomato and arugula
Okay I know this sounds all highfalutin because the simple act of saying “arugula” creates visions of grandeur and such but really it’s a cracker (fairly long lengthwise) with half a slice of peppered tomato, and a pinch of arugula. This snack may only be consumed with an air of snobbery. Consider yourself advised.
Greek Yougurt and almonds
Hardest part is pulling the tab off the yougurt. It always gets on my fingers. Unneccesary. And as for almonds, this doesn’t mean you can eat them honey roasted, spiced, dipped in maple or covered in chocolate. You should know better.
I usually throw in some plain almonds, a walnut or two, raisins and dried cranberries, sunflower seeds and maybe a piece of dark chocolate cut up practically to shreds. If you’re not a fan of chocolate (you’re probably not a fan of puppies and rainbows either), then add yougurt chips instead although the chocolate is what makes the whole thing bearable. Kidding. This is good for you and keeps you pretty full so don’t complain.
And the best lazy girl snack of all – ice water.
Heck yes. I fill up a glass every 20 minutes once I’m home from work and in close quarters to my bathroom. I don’t need my fellow employees spreading rumors. I sip water because it keeps me full, or gives me a feeling of fullness, it’s perfect for the summertime, and if you like it with a little flavor, leave out those sugary chemical filled mixes, fill up a jug with a couple slices of cucumber, lemon, or nectarine or strawberries and let it sit before you sip. Plus it makes you skinny and that’s pretty much what life comes down to.
See, easy. I can’t believe I actually got through this whole post, I feel so lazy.